Enjoy the
following articles from the book
"Signs You May Be an Idiot, and other musings,"
by Andre' Gensburger
In the Bathrooms of Men
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here are strange things that men examine in the privacy of their bathrooms. Men look at their teeth, and their profile. Men examine the top of their head to be sure that baldness has not crept in unannounced; and their lower extremities to be sure that old age has not stripped away any of the vigor of youth. There is a ritual of muscle motions, a flexing of biceps, and a puffed-up chest. And men inhale and deflate, repeatedly, their spare tire in an attempt to be something larger than life.
There are no truths to be found in the bathrooms of men, only platitudes, for here all men are perfect.
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Introduction
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"Common sense is the
collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
- Albert Einstein
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eportedly, there have been some 40,000 billion species on this planet since life began, of which 99.99% have become extinct after an average lifespan of 4 million years. As I watch the television news, visit our schools, businesses, churches, listen to the music, and experience the vacuum of youth left in my wake, I am worried that we have raised a nation of idiots. Born of excessive rights and freedoms, argued by endless attorneys and politicians, and exemplified by people with limited accountability, it seems that the ‘today’ generation plans only to get the most out of life at any cost. Life is cheap and standards are base. The post-hippie, free-souled yuppies taught their children to take of life, and not to make.... Live for the now. Somehow, something was lost in the translation.
Perhaps our time on this planet is ending, not unlike the
billions of species before us. On the other hand, at the eleventh-hour
and fifty-ninth minute mark, humanity may find a way to transcend our
burdens of stupidity, greed and corruption, and allow us to survive.
There are many people who argue that ‘the asteroid’ is long overdue and
many others who believe that Jesus will return to save those worthy of
being saved. There are many who bury their head in the drivel of
television soap operas, not wanting to know what lies beyond, and
exercise their votes for American Idols instead of American Presidents.
Others are unable to do even that much.
Life is replete with signs, both literal and philosophical.
We have, as living beings, the choices offered by circumstance and
intent. We have, in the United States, the ability to make good or bad
choices, the right to speak, when we should be silent, the freedom to
inflict our viewpoints upon others and to invade their countries in the
name of self-defense, real or imagined. Likewise, we have the right to
be stupid, and many who exercise that right demonstrate pride in that
choice. Thankfully, there are signs that serve to identify these
people. And, for the rest, there are television reality shows.
I have had the good fortune to
live an interesting life, albeit one filled with many mistakes,
conceits, and failings in one form or another. Along the way, I began
to jot copious notes on virtually every subject, enhancing my opinions
with facts gleaned from a world of source material, and attempting to
fashion from that some rhyme and reason for the state of life and the
meaning of existence.
Everyone is a critic, even those people who appreciate
everything encountered. I am no different. Things can be analyzed and
critiqued, and often rejected as being simplistic or naïve.
I wanted answers to life’s mysteries. Life wanted me to
have questions, not answers. It is not my lottery ticket that wins. It
is not my lot to have everything just work out without problems. It is
not a stress-free life; just about everything in my life creates
stress. Nothing is perfect or it would all be quite boring and unworthy
of an observation.
In this collection of articles and notes, I have tried to include a variety of subjects that might never be discussed at a cocktail party. These are designed to be amusing, thought provoking, and a way to vent my frustrations at what I have been unable to change, while still appreciating those things that make life a truly wonderful experience. Hopefully, the commonality will appeal to you and bring out your own experiences. That is the best I can ask for.
-André
Gensburger
Clayton, California
? Political Playing, Praying and Paying. ?
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atching the big PR machine spinning so wildly, in California, for both
State Senators as well as School Officials,
and with the governor's local, town hall meeting, I was reminded that in
America things seem to work one of three ways; we either play with
things, pray for things or pay for things to happen.
"There is, in fact, an awful lot of each going on, these days, despite a
huge national debt and a downturn
in the economy. Whether we will pray our way out of a recession or
whether we will have to pay our way out, we play no matter what.
Granted, taxes make the country fly, but we have taxed just about
everything. Sales tax, gas tax, cigarette tax, property tax, income tax,
even
a tax on dying - get you on the way
out, brother. Locally, the City of Concord wanted to impose a candy and
soda tax and draw revenue from the excesses of our children.
Consider the
Boston Tea Party. Taxation without
representation was the theme song, and yet, representation aside, the
populace, was unhappy that jolly old England had been arbitrarily taxing
everything it shipped out, from stamps and paper, to tea. So what has
really changed? Representation? C'mon -
are we really feeling represented?
Aside from the usual dubious officials, we have passed through the trend of electing actors into office, and now are flirting with whether we will be represented by the first woman president or the first Black president and, no matter who gets the job, we will wind up paying the price because there is still a whole lot of playing going on between the praying.
As a rule, we pray too much. Having planted God on the currency, affirmed by every presidential broadcast blessing us, and almost always using our national Christian heritage as a shield, it seems that we have relegated to others, our democratic responsibilities in standing up to be counted for what is right. Who does that anymore? All I see on the tube are the people standing up to complain about what is wrong, under the guise of claiming to represent what is "right about America".
The politicians who stand before a television camera have not forgotten this game. Neither have the crowds of onlookers who forget that the player gleaming under studio lights is really their employee, paid for by their taxes, even if the employee out-earns the employer. It's easy to forget the roles.
When Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger arrived in Pleasant Hill, California early 2008, it was only after a detail of police, staffers, media, and other elected officials had been positioned in place. Even the protesters had been positioned; close enough to be seen, yet far enough to not pose a nuisance. The governor waved, and then attended to his game plan.
Inside the event, media types lined up by pecking order; big television news cameras dominate in placement, known journalists able to fill in those gaps between cameras, and the smaller fish struggling to find gaps in the wall to shoot through, around, over and beneath. Everyone played the game.
Coordinating this entire event were members of the governor's office both locally and from Sacramento. These busy people each had a role to play. The press office sent out press statements and links to source materials, made follow-up phone calls in a well orchestrated symphony of public relations. They even had their own media setup for live webcasting and, as fast as the public media could post their stories, the governor's website had already been updated with links, media clips, photographs and the text of what was said.
William Shakespeare said that "all the world is a stage and all the men and women merely players." Abraham Lincoln noted that "You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."
I contend that the entire world is a stage and we are all players in this intricate game, however, while you can fool some of the people some of the time, you most certainly can deluge and confuse the rest of the people the rest of the time. Confusion is the key, it seems.
Political playing goes hand in hand with praying. Politicians pray that they do not get tripped up. They pray that when their time ends upon the stage that their name will be mentioned favorably in the annals of history. Politicians definitely play. Political certainty is a very loose term. It is never certain. It can't be. "Certainty" is an absolute in a world with too many variables. Certainty is a recipe for failure. For all the hundreds of millions of dollars spent convincing the public during the presidential primaries, it is amazing how few guarantees emerge. The "If elected, I promise..." statements are very expensive these days, as is television coverage. It's hard to read a teleprompter without showing "shifty eyes".
I'm not sure what I should be praying for, anymore. We all watch the presidential primaries with the eyes of American Idol watchers, desperately searching for some glimmer of something we can believe in again. We have been paying greatly, in this country, for a very long time. Between the death toll of our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, a national debt now in the trillions of dollars that will never be repaid, and the steady stream of political figures caught toe tapping in restrooms, having sex with overpriced hookers or having affairs with whomever power attracts, we can't help but appreciate the price attached to the playing that goes on.
Perhaps we should approach it like an infomercial hosted by that nameless guy with the extremely annoying voice who promises an unbelievable claim to the products he's peddling, with the bonus of doubling or tripling your order if you call in within "the next ten minutes". Hey wait a minute - if that product was guaranteed to last a lifetime, why do I need three of them?
Perhaps we should have a stupidity tax to help boost the economy. I'll pray on that thought.